footballer and i had a late night quarrel last night, read carefully dears, late night QUARREL! not late night SEX! you all would be shock if i paste our qq conversation here. we was in a caller conversation. footballer kept typing, you all wouldn't know how irritating it was. the knock knock sound on the keyboard is damn loud and i was wearing ear piece moreover its shows no respect to me. = = ''who are you talking to? why keep typing?'' ''a person in france, last night always watch us play soccer'' !!! in france daisai ah? watch you all play soccer daisai ah? i totally wanted slam my screen down and let him be. but i din. i throw aside the mic and wait. he started talking, so i aked him ''you type finish alr?'' then he say i got attitude problem. he made his effort to explain to me who the girl is, what they were talking about. yea its all true, i believe him. im just not happy! i just dont like him to talk to another person when he's doing it to me! yes, im not a super girlfriend anymore, i started to become unreasonable... i still sounded angry and he started saying that if they have something, he would have kup-ed the caller and not telling me what's happening. im just angry cant you compromise yourself and just say sorry? okay. qurrel begins here. ''if there's something bu guang ming, i would kup-ed it and talk to her first, like what i did.'' ''oh, okay, i know, now i know alr, whenever you kup-ed the caller in the past, you were talking to... okok i know alr'' there he started yelling me, you know what? you know what? please dont act like you know. he was making me angry with a purpose of course i show him that he got his aim, i was angry. then he say i insulted his personality. and all the harsh bad vulgar insulting words was then come out from his mouth till i can hear his mom coming his room and ask him to behave... he end the caller convo. minutes later... he called me using caller. ''sorry, im sorry. i shouldn't have shouted at you'' hearing him saying this, i felt so weird, usually he din apologise after he shout. but why this time? then i heard him typing again, to me this time.. ''break up, we dont match'' i started tearing like one dog, like the meng jiang nv who cried the great wall falls. im not exagerating. he's still not enough, started explaining what went wrong and my words are so hurt to him. i know. i know my words are too harsh, too much for him to bare. after all his craps, i asked him again ''so now do you still want to break up?'' ''bu yao la... just now i was really very angry, very impulsive'' can you imagine my footballer is saying something like this? he never ever say break up before, not ever in this relationship, i bet i really pissed him off. i believe he love me and much... he dont know how i felt when i saw his words of breaking up, let's separate with each other first. heartaching. i can be very calm typing these down now but not last night. too sad.. i scolded him for saying break up so easily. he jolly well back to the past, to the playboy he used to be. im so scared, but not now, because i know, he said that cus he loves me too much... baby, im sorry....

say the word 'break up' only when you mean it. i really did mean it. what's so compalcent about yourself. patch. we know are meant for each other. we need each other. we love each other. then why cant you do better? why cant i be more considerate? this is the problem. so is everything going to be better after yesterday? i hope so. im going to try veh hard, to change for you. i'll be the best, you have never had.

footballer is damn going to scold me when he sees this >< aunt sara like so troubled ): 王姐，不要激動！ fish&co. @ amk for dinner 花癡>< mommy relax! @ guadian's shop talking to customer the dumpling is like, yummy friends this is nice, try it @ china square! mommy and i went to visit the doctore ar tpy. mom's womb got problem. its not quite a big deal but we just wanted to make its safe & i wanted to ask sth about my baby in my womb too(: HAHAHAHAHAHA footballer went to other place in china. we have not been talking nicely these days. i dont want to think so much which distracts my studies and progress in school. footballer always tell me we sacrifice in the present for the future to build a nest for us and our baby (: i should grow up. ! ! !

zhangxu met her besty marcus just now. first time in life besty made his effort to woodlands to meet me. so you all must be satisfied with my besty as a boyfriend okay, his ex-es or flings or what so ever! me his besty me never derserve this kinda treatment before. hahaha. okay. had short mary gold for dinner. when we were walking at the basement, besty accidently hit my breast. ><> me: hello besty you just knocked at my breast, can you like apologise to me? marcus: like no? wth! hahahahha, i laughed like mad, was he not okay or what? or he has some problem? okay i think only the friendship between me and marcus can do this! me know me is not shy at all. hahahaha. really hilarious. ssssss our dearest famous footballer made his way to his father's place, to observe the working condition. i feel like we are even further apart since baby boarded his train though we cant see each other still when he was in the green island! sobs! i miss him. i counted the days the next time we will see each other. im very stress.

dinner & desert session at j8 with the woman! 大象大象你的鼻子怎麼這麼長！ 這是北鼻最喜歡的玩偶！暴力熊！ new skill learnt from JESLIN TAN!

這個叫做 非主流發行

你們不懂啦！

我現在真的超想馬克思梁！

我懂我超級白癡！

但是有他真的很好！

i just received a call from marcus bestie. he went back to malaysia again. at such an hour, he just came out from the custom, how can people not worrying about him... we still mind so much from each other, despite the fact that both of us have gone through the things which we didnt want each other to go through. the hardest stage in our life, in this year, it just happened. we used to wonder so much about the consequences we need to face when it comes to us one day, we used to think how bad or irresponsible can that be.. but when it eventually happens, we found that its hard for us to face each other. i shouldnt blame him, he shouldnt scold me cus its just a certain stage we have to face sooner or later. whenever i feel upset, i would think of the happy things we shared, then i would be re-charged again. cus i know, no matter what, my besty is not far around me. some days ago, i still told pohshen and matt that i could have lead such a happier life in secondary school, if it was, without you.. but now i dont think this way anymore, cus i finally realised, being together as a whole, and the whole is only 2 person, it aint bad, its good. we know we are enough for each other, we dont need anybody else. i think everything would be better today if you are around, you are still in the same school as me.. when look around today, i finally realised i miss you so much. i told you i would be brave in poly and be happier without you. but only when the problems came, i know i need you.... over sucha long period, we dont meet up as often already. but what amazing is, we remember each other by heart. i know when i need help, he'd still be there, to support me, unconditionally. we still concerns so much about each other though we are sacarstic towards our relationship partners, being jealous, being over-protective, being complacent, being not used to..... i miss my boyfriend, but i miss also you, my bestie, for today, wantedly.

me got sth to bring up here. its been days since fion's 18th. i forget about that totally. i remember last yr we celebrated together and the hunt to the sex shop we girls. okay i just wanna say a happy belated 18th birthday to Love Fiona Tan Yiling. a naive and quite dumb girl but a true enough friend!

i know am contradicting myself. okay you all know actually i love him alot. but sometimes he really make me very angry. i really dunno what is going to happen in this half year's time. i cannot give him stress. i cannot keep telling him that i feel sad cus i cannot see him. he'd be very stress. i can just envy those couple around me, cus no matter fights of argument, they still get to see each other. i cannot. this is a obstable in our relationship. something we need to overcome.. baby i miss you.

WHEN I LOSE TO 55KG I FUCKING GOING TO DITCH YOU LISTEN UP!

im very fad up now. no matter how much strength i use, i wil never change you. you are sucha chauvinist, you say up i dont say down, you ask me to sit i dont stand. friends, please dont tell me i have a choice, i chose to be like that. i also dont want to have a boyfriend like this, but i dont can't lie that i love him. i dont know why guys dont feel the same way as us. i feel so loved when you question me where am i going, what time am i going home, dont go out with guys... yes i want to tie you up want you to stay at home. im so unreasonable, im trying to find faults whenever you go out. im so unhappy when you stay up so late and i got to wait for you in front of the comp like a fool. yea, my choice again. you never ask me to wait, i own self wanna make myself unhappy. i wanto think the negative way, i suspect you, i not confident, everything is me. you didn't do anything wrong. im the blame to everything. if your history is so perfect, i woudn't have sucha worrying mind. you say you wont play with girls, today you ask me, why cant you play with girls. the answer is just cannot, im just so unreasonable, im not so open, i cannot accept the fact you all play king's game together. i know everything can happen, cus i played before. yes, actually i know which kinda guy you are, you werent loyal, cus they dont worth your loyalty. but i worth it. and i believe you will do it. the reason why i can be so unreasonable, because im jealous, i have little girl minds. i can say how petty this girl is that girl is, but actually the most petty one is me. i admit. i curse the girls' whole family whoever meet you in soho. yea, im so scary, so fierce, so irritating. are you impatient? you stand enough of me? you dont want to continue the rest of your life with such a bitch who wants to control you in whatever you do? alright, leave me.... stay far away from me then! 狼心狗肺！