i feel like writing a long post now. but actually there isnt anything in my mind. just remember a month ago, i was still complaining all sorts of stuffs regrading relationship here. after the trip to china, i realised there isnt anything for me to worry, so much. things that going to happen, i cant stop it from happening. things that not happening, it doesnt mean that it will never does... so i will let nature take its course. maybe you are wondering how come suddenly im so positive or see things through, let me tell you the biggest reason is, i know there's a position for me in his heart, a big important part. until everybody knows. minutes ago i've got so much to say cus footballer gave me so much... now zzz... i wanna die already. we quarrelled just now. i really didn't know, im so lousy. he's not proud of having me, not at all. what's avoiding for? idk. for what want to care about what his friend says. means he not confident in our relationship. im angry. i think it's time for me to re evaluate this relationship. its not the matter of distance. is about what you think about me. we made through so many obstacles, the long distance, you fly here i fly there. what was all that for? sometimes, you need to consider about my feelings too.. & today, i just realised, im so lousy, im not up to his standard. i think we dont match at all. we dont share the same perspective. i think love is about sacrificing for each other and ignores how the others look at you. sadly, you dont think so. i think we are not, suitable, at all..... pissed..